Small

Sometimes a small step taken in an uncertain realm is all one can do.

I still feel scrambled. Unsure where to place my focus or what to try again.

7 kgs heavier.

Eating all the time.

Feels like I am starting all over again.

I want my life to change, I want to be consistent and strong in my dedication to health and the joyful foundation that wellbeing gives to life.

But I just feel so weak. Weak willed. Weak minded. Fickle. Uncommitted. Undisciplined.

Do I need to find a way to make this lifestyle feel good and fabulous? Is that even possible when your healing and detoxing and breaking toxic addictions?

Or do I need to find a way to be strong and just walk this path even though it’s hard and painful?

My beliefs tell me the path should feel like relief. The path should feel good.

But maybe my beliefs are wrong.

Left or right? Focus here or there. This is my scrambled overwhelmed brain. A completely different brain to the one that is activated when I am high raw and fasting daily. The benefits of the Raw Vegan Omad lifestyle are clear, obvious and have been felt. But yet the call to what is easy, what is habitual and what feels good now is stronger today.

It is definitely an overfed overloaded fog brain day!

Today I had a green smoothie. My one small step.