Negativity

Plants are beautiful.

Eating raw plants is colourful and vibrant.

My eyes go bright blue when I eat plants.

Beauty. Positivity. Light. Radiance. Vitality.

These are the cornerstones of a raw vegan life.

And yet, sadly it was not the light that called me forth. It helps me stay the path. It helps me walk the path. It makes the path enjoyable and full of blessings.

But what makes this path so essential? So pivotal? Such a non negotiable aspect of my life?

It is the darkness.

The negativity and horror in the world I have seen and felt.

I can not sit idly by and participate happily in a life that requires humans to kill… the ramifications are much to vast and ugly.

It is not just about the innate value of animal life. But that too is enough in itself. I have had a cow for a pet and they are beautiful loving sentient beings. I have played with baby chicks and watched them grow, they are unique interesting individuals. I have run and played with baby goats that love to play and frolic and be loved. Animals are affectionate and can love and feel love. For that reason enough, eating animals seems cruel and an action only reasonable under extreme survival situations.

Then there are the sustainability issues of meat needing more land, water etc etc.

But it is also our industry of killing that is problematic. The lives of the people that do the killing. The conditions they live and work in and what it does to them psychologically and emotionally.

I don’t eat meat in the same way I don’t have a slave. The damage it does to humans participating seems FAR too high a cost. I see eating meat and slavery offering certain delights. Convenience and ease just the top of the iceberg. That is the problem with only seeing life from ones personal selfish perspective. It is so easy, so effortless for humans to dismiss the pain to others when we “enjoy” and receive so much “benefit”.

There are so many levels to the vegan paradigm and from my perspective it seems very clear that it is a heartless, cruel and selfish choice to eat animals.

This is why I don’t talk about being vegan in my day to day life. I avoid it in all social circumstances… my twenties taught me this much at least!

I feel it is like being against slavery and living in the deep south.

My perspective seems extreme. My stand seems unreasonable. People who eat meat feel bad when I share my perceptions.

And, no-one wants to feel bad.

And, I don’t want to make people feel bad.

But I cannot I see what I have seen.

I cannot unknow what I know.

I have heard the sound and pain of a cow being murdered. That was real.

Unforgettable.

I am glad our planet offers choice to all humans.

I don’t believe in evil or badness. I don’t believe people who eat meat have something innately wrong with them.

The ones who say it’s too much effort, it requires too much change, it’s too hard… for those meat eaters. I feel deep love and empathy. In a meat eating world, it is really hard! It is an extremely difficult path to walk! It requires far too much effort that is reasonable for people who may already be struggling to survive and live. It does require learning, time, energy and money that many, sadly, do not have.

But the meat eaters who think it’s reasonable and do not want to see the truth that is available to see. They say no to watching the documentary or reading that article or listening to my part of the conversation. The ones that dismiss this perception without any deep thought or consideration. They are the people I distrust, they are the people who I loose respect for, they are the ones that I struggle to welcome into my life and into my heart.

And sadly, I struggle to even like them, I struggle to tolerate and I struggle to be civil. I struggle to manage the hate and disdain that bubbles up from my core.

It is difficult on so many levels.

That is why I try and focus on the light and the beauty of a plant based life.

But a conversation yesterday sent me spiralling and I needed to do something with all this pain. The sadness of being dismissed and misunderstood. The heartache of feeling anger towards meat eaters. The difficulty of feeling alienated so much of the time.

How do people stand for things without letting hate consume them. I need to learn more.

I fear hate might consume me… it’s like a sleeping dragon within me that some people awaken and I feel powerless to stop the torrent of thoughts and feelings that erupt when face to face with a meat eater who feels eating meat is reasonable.

More growth required…

More learning…

I would prefer to live my life without hate.

But how do I cultivate love and respect for those who create so much pain in the world and think it is perfectly reasonable?

Or is it easier to simply not associate with those kinds of humans?

Would I voluntarily associate with a person who had slaves?