Eruption

Some days are bad.

And when your changing food habits, bad can become terrible very fast.

As a person who has a complicated relationship with food, changing what I eat creates a big chasm in my life when it comes to managing my emotions.

Feel tired, eat.

Feel happy, eat.

Feel bored, eat.

Feel sad, eat.

All emotions especially big ones are linked to eating sugary fatty fleshy cooked food.

And today while facing big bad overwhelming emotions, it has felt like torture.

Loosing my unhealthy but helpful in the moment coping mechanisms is really painful, especially now while I am still developing and trying to create new coping strategies.

I am tired.

I am overwhelmed.

I am exhausted.

I just want to feel relief and to feel better, but the only ways I know create further pain.

I feel lost.

Hopefully my North Star will shine bright through the clouds and I’ll find my way to feeling good soon enough.

Otherwise I will crash into the rocks and have to start all over again…