Trust

Last night I choose to sacrifice sleep and go to a late night movie with my husband.

This was a lovely treat on so many levels!

But what I found deeply comforting was that I had trust in myself.

Trust I could go to the movies, enjoy myself and not eat, as it was obviously in my fasting window.

Trust even if I go home at midnight I would wake up and make myself breakfast.

Trust that being around all that good smelling popcorn I wouldn’t feel like I was missing out and would still feel happy and contented.

And that was all well placed trust.

Last night was fabulous, no part of me wanted to eat even though I could appreciate the smell.

I awakened and made breakfast this morning easily.

I used to have to think so much about my life and protect myself from triggers, because I was so weak and out of alignment. I just “had” to eat popcorn at the movies. I just “had” to grab a coffee if I had a late night. My life was full of excuses and really justified and legitimate reasons why I could not eat in alignment with my values and long term goals.

And in that time, I had no trust in myself. Just a lot of regret, shame and constant disappointment. It was really painful to feel so out of control and so unable to live with integrity. For a long time and as recently, just last year I felt completely powerless, trying for over 15 years to be vegan and constantly failing after 6 months or 3 months or 40 days and even failing after a couple of hours!

It was horrific to be failing so consistently yet the heart STILL yearning vegan alignment despite it all!!

So to be here, with complete trust and faith in myself to joyfully live in alignment with my raw vegan dreams feels like a miracle. It feels precious. It feels magical.

It feels like an answered prayer.

It is nice to be on the other side of this dream.

It feel fabulous having this dream finally come true.

And in a really real way… I feel like I am in my own Happily Ever After part of my story!

What a blessing this all is!

And what amazing amounts of joy and hope this alignment is now flooding into all areas of my life!