Darkness

One of the things about being vegan… or more appropriately being willing to try and become vegan, is the requirement to face the Darkness.

No longer am I choosing to seek bliss through avoidance and denial. No longer am I willing to numb myself to the pain and truth about my choices.

Choosing to walk this path is choosing to face the darkness and walk with it day in and day out.

Everyday lately I have to face the darkness of my own body. Craving and getting a milk coffee. Despite knowing the truth. Despite wanting to change.

The truth is I don’t yet have the skills, the will power or the ability to live my days without the caffeine and sugar and milk hit that is so ingrained.

Coffee for me isn’t just coffee. It’s a lifeline.

When I go without, I get so irritated and emotional and panicked. Emotions rise up. And my basic ability to face my world goes out the window.

But not being able to say goodbye to coffee was once my excuse to give up on it all.

Not anymore.

I eat vegan when I can.

I make the choices I can.

And I face my darkness regarding the rest.

The vegan path… is a path full of courage and the willingness to face life. All of life, not just the parts of ourselves or the world we like.

But all of it.